Playtrek Haikus!

In late 2006, Playtrek had a fun haiku contest, with prizes going to many participants. Hilarity ensued. Below are the results.

First day of duty
Transporting to a new world
Red shirt means short life
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy
Human, Vulcan and Geezer
40 years ago
Mr. Bill Eggler
Closet Picard collector
Left wing Kirk lover
King Dean Andrade
Very cool cheesehead Trekker
Can we talk toys please?
Ex-King Roberto
Roger, Will and Holly fan
No Sleestaks in Trek
Charles Apple writes
High school crush is now divorced
mid-life crisis now
Boy genius Ted cries
Pluto stripped of planethood
Kiss my asteroid
Who is most grating?
Wesley, Neelix, or Guinan?
Whiny bitch Kes wins
Rust on the saucer
What on earth was Gene thinking?
No car wash in space
Tapestry Picard
Death for many collections
Completists ANGRY!
Seven inches tall
heroes of the galaxy
Diamond Select Trek
Melissa query
Haikus posted to the list?
Or private email?
Marshall, not Roger
The dad from Land of the Lost
Get it right Chris Rei!
Thanks Art Asylum
For some new neat toys
Without you I would be bored
Thanks Art Asylum
For some different new toys
Without I'd be bored
Redemption Data
The prize of my collection
Thanks, J C Penney!
Beware the Borg!
Your resistance is futile!
So says Locutus.
She says write haiku
I suck at this kind of stuff
Guess I'll try this, though
First we had Mego
Now it is Diamond Select
'tween them was Playmates
Oops, my bad, Marshall
Sid and Marty were on dope
Who flung Chaka poo?
I hate exclusives.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Damn mother****ers.
Brave Klingon Warriors
Gleaming Blade catches the light
Forever in song

Alternate ending:
Fresh Targ heart for lunch

Haiku form is hard
My brain hurts from this
I'm sorry to say
7 has two syllables
Haiku rules broken
Haiku rules are hard
Bad count but good form
Brad was toy rival
For Sat. morn Playmates toy runs
Now were very good friends
Playtreker's commune
Space Toys and other worlds
Live Long and Prosper
Starship Enterprise
Pride of the Federation
Kirk's Warp Love Machine
The Right has the might
The left is weak on terror
Don't say on Playtrek
Kirk Spock McCoy
Traveling the Galaxy
Star Trek Forever
Star Trek collection
forty years of merchandise
fill closet and den
mint on card / in box
in Playmates shipping cartons
odds and ends displayed
My wife is very mad
I collect way to many toys
Playmates started it!
Little plastic men
Imprisoned on stiff cardboard
They see all you do
In boxes they Stay
Toys with eyes that really see
It's not when it's true
Playtrek, read by lots
Lurker Appreciation
Brought out a few more
My daughter age 3
Nathalie Suzanne Perry
Likes Star Trek too :-)
Playtrekers post Haiku
for honor and to amuse
Playtrek contests rule!
Six-- no, dammit, five!
Middle seven syllables
Too many numbers
what the heck
and limerick too
Combination dreck
Is this off topic,
If it's not about Star Trek?
Let's talk politics!
The newsman Chuck Apple
South of Mason Dixon line
Drawing us the news!
King Dean is our man
A new ISP he has
To serve Playtrek well
Cha-ka flings no poo
Evolved Pakuni he is
See show and you'll know
Playtrekkers unite,
finding one mint is our plight,
but loose is alright...
And now for a word
From our sponsor it does say
The Playtrek tagline
I love Bill Eggler
Just like a man loves his wife
No, but not really
Please make me stop now
I'm very much out of control
With stupid haiku
In the bluish glow
more messages keep coming
Michael Heintz again
Some Playtrekkers Count
Two Syllable Words as One
Please use your fingers
Another Haiku,
Contest filled with silly prose
fills up my inbox
Go away this muck
I dont need to press delete
lest I'm overwhelmed
I bid you all stop
Take this from my weary mind
Lets just talk of toys.
plastic star trek men
between four and twelve inches
size doesn't matter
Tonight I watch my tape
The T V roast of Shatner
HHmmm, ..Do you smell ham??
Shortpacks: bane of all
So I buy up all the Shrans
Soon: rich on eBay!
Celebrate your stash
Rip those packages open!
Be not a mint-ee.
Wander the toy aisles
Seeking out the perfect head -
Chop, carve, glue, paint, grin!
Master Reps triumphs
Unobtainium is purged
Harmony results
Trek goes CGI
New FX will change the look
Let ranting commence
Figure can't be found
Must go to den of evil
Welcome to ebay
AA makes great ships
What to do with the others?
Playmates, meet dumpster
Feisty one: Esoqq
Limited one to a case.
As rare as hen's teeth!
Star Trek poetry...
Often rhymes with good reason
Will you haiku, too?
Keep it Mint In Box
Openers are evil folk
We worship package
Saw an Esoqq once
Didn't have money at the time
Left with tears in eyes
Hey, all poems should rhyme
Not to do so is a crime
You should all be slimed!
What is this "haiku"?
Playtrek has become a zoo
I'm doing it too!
Roses are quite red
Violets are colored blue
This haiku just sucks
All this wrestling talk
Smart or not, I just don't care
Not on Sci-Fi, please
Stargate canceled now
I'm so very unhappy
Ten years, I have enjoyed
docious - just three more
Star Trek - all the toys
How many more do I need?
Too many I have
An ode to New Force
Feeding my habit, Rick does
Drowning in peanuts
Resistance, futile
Assimilated you are
Says Yoda of Borg
Too many haikus
So much time I have wasted
Why did I do this?
Trek figures are nice
Free from their plastic prisons
they are meant to be
Where is Playtrek Spock
Abducted by aliens
We truly miss him
Political sage
Bill Eggler is fun to read
Please, may we see more?
The bane of my existence
Now, we curse at thee.
Star Trek and Wrestlin'
These do not go together
Except on Sci-Fi
Star Trek is for geeks
Wrestling is for redneck hicks
Can't we get along
Wrestling is fake
Winner is preselected
SciFi is on drugs
Young wrestling fans buy
SciFi is a ratings whore
Bad program choices
No more good SciFi
Hulkamania is king
Stargate thrown to trash
Long haired guys in tights
Take over SciFi Channel
Geeks run for cover
NASCAR is boring
Right turns must confuse drivers
Waste of gasoline
Roller Derby Rocked
Tough hot chicks kicked ass on skates
Raquel Welch film too
Go, Roberto, go!
Pulling haikus out his ass.
This man needs a life...
It's the chase for some
It's the having, for others
Star Trek collecting.
I hate to talk in
Haiku, but guess I have to
as everyone seems is.
I can do it if
I do it like rap, so you
can clearly see here.
So, now I've forgot
my point. Oh ya, it's Star Trek-
Lovely show it is!
Wrestle on Sci Fi,
wrong hair on action figures-
is Playtrek talk now.
Diamond makes figures
NICE ones! I buy most all, and
extras for customs,
which brings my point I've
made before- why now make heads
so big? Who needs that?
What purpose is there
to increasing head volume
by ranging amounts
of ten to thirty percent?
Star Trek's forty years
where no man has gone before
let's see what's out there
farpoint encounter
all good things come to an end
the sky's the limit
explore the wormhole
fighting the dominion war
what you leave behind
maquis and starfleet
trapped in the delta quadrant
transwarp homecoming
it's been a long road
now a temporal cold war?
federation starts
The new plastic smell
The ripping of the cardboard
Freedom to pose now.
My beau is madman
Toys, scattered like blowing leaves
The house is crowded
House now overflows
hardbacks, paperbacks, crowd us
I think...too many?
Dare I ask the group...
Who won the haiku contest?
I hope it was me! :-)
My apologies
busy season hitting hard
sorry for delay
Haiku contest done
I knew I would not win one
Try harder next time
Robert Potter who?
Now is he a Playtrekker?
He wrote no haikus!
A question I have
Notice, I did, these haiku
Yoda, we write like
Dare I ask the group...
Who won the haiku contest?
I hope it was me! :-)
My apologies
busy season hitting hard
sorry for delay

Got a new haiku you want to share? Contact the Playtrek Owner address with your limerick and we'll add it to this page!