Playtrek Gazette February/March 1998 Editor: John Contributors to this Issue: Roberto, Andrew, Charles Contact the Gazette at: playtrek@hotmail.com Well, Target's recent announcement that they will feature approximately 2,947 exclusive Playmates figures this year has thrown people for a loop, as reflected in this issue. Also, this belated issue premieres Andrew's Top Ten List, which will appear in every issue to keep everyone appraised of all the questions one everyone's minds, in a statistically relevant manner. So, without further ado...The Gazette. AUSSIE PLAYTREKKERS ON TARGET by Andrew Novasitis With the announcement of so many 1999 Target Store exclusives figures, the few daring playtrekkers located in Australia and Tasmania have decided to take matters into their own hands. They are tired of relying on fellow list members for Star Trek figures, dolls, ships and accessories. So, they have organized a non-profit corporation named PlayTrek (AU) Corp. and will open and operate Australia's first ever Target Store. President of PlayTrek (AU) Corp., Ian McLean, states: "Along with six other Australian business-men and women, PlayTrek (AU) Corp. plans on opening a Target Store in the lovely community of Wagga Wagga, located in New South Wales. Wagga Wagga is strategically located between the cities of Sydney and Melbourne. We are in negotiations to build one of those "bullet train" systems, so that Wagga Wagga would be easy to get to. Alternate sites of this new Target Store were the summit of Mt. Reeves overlooking beautiful Lake Burragorang and the metropolis known as Kurri Kurri-Weston. The location of Wagga Wagga was decided after a lack of interest in those other two sites. Besides, I just think Wagga Wagga sounds better." Vice President, Nelly Nordio, explains, "We just want to be able to purchase all of those neat Target exclusives ourselves, and now we have developed a way to do that. Our store will consist of only one department - toys. Therefore, we are guaranteed to get the Star Trek exclusives." Construction is expected to be completed by the middle of February, just in time for the first set of exclusives. Each of the seven officers of PlayTrek (AU) Corp. had to make an initial business principal investment of only AUS$27.99 to secure the rights to open a Target Store. This low investment amount had something to do with that new Euro currency, but no one can figure it all out still. Negotiations with Target Stores, Inc. were a closely guarded secret, and PlayTrek (AU) Corp. accountants, Ron and Helen Russell, can only say, "We made a proposal that they couldn't refuse." Rumors are that they offered to purchase all of those Seska as Cardassian figures that are currently in Playmates warehouses. With only a few changes, these Seska figures could look like an Australian Aborigine. With the upcoming Sydney Olympics, Promotions Director, Paul McCarthy, has many plans in the works. "Assuming Playmates is still producing Star Trek toys when the Olympics roll around, we will become a major attraction for the millions of people. We plan on having exclusive Olympic Latinum Edition figurines of Captain Kirk running the 100 meter dash, Captain Picard playing soccer, Captain Sisko swimming the butterfly and Captain Janeway on the balance beam. It'll be fantastic. And, of course, we'll have that Seska as Aborigine special limited edition exclusive give-away figure to the first 125,000 people who visit the store." Chief of Product Goods, Fred Bowden, is confident that this business will prosper. He says, "Since the Star Trek exclusives are made in China and since Australia is real close to China, we made a deal with Playmates to have stuff shipped directly from China to us here down under. That way, we get everything real quick. And, we will be offering lay-by purchase services also." The final officer of PlayTrek (AU) Corp. is Sam English. His duties include making sure that all of the figures on the shelves and pegs are neatly organized and look good. Also, a consultant will be on staff one week every month. Flying in from a California Target Store will be Christine Gabriel, who will give expert advice on how to run the toy department. There will be several other all expenses paid "business trips" from the United States to Australia for other playtrekkers also. Newspaper mogul Charles Apple will work on print ads and in-store promotions, and will cook all of the shrimp on the barbie. Roberto will provide the in-store selections of shopping music (consisting of ELO, Sheryl Crow and Sheena Easton). While in Australia, he hopes to find that ultra rare Australian album version of ELO's Greatest Hit, Volume 7. Bill Eggler will work as official store greeter and will try not to chase customers away with his bubbly personality. After work, Bill will travel over 300 kilometers a day visiting toy stores looking for an Australian variation of Mutated Lt. Paris that is supposed to exist. AndyNova will sell t-shirts from an aisle endcap and his goal while in Australia will be to meet leggy supermodel Elle MacPherson and ask her out on a date. Helping test all of the toys will be the expert mother/daughter team of Joan and Tiffany. They will instruct every customer on how to properly play with the toys. We at the Playtrek Gazette wish the best of luck to all associated with this Australian venture. ANDREW'S TOP TEN LIST by Andrew Novasitis With the announcement of the many exclusive, somewhat overpriced, items being released in 1999, many playtrekkers may be re-considering their individual collecting habits. As a public service, the Gazette brings you the: Top Ten Reasons to continue collecting Star Trek Action Figures 10. Because those little voices inside your head tell you to, that's why. 9. That Seska as a Cardassian *could* increase in value, y'know. 8. Because if you don't, they will all come to life and kill you while you are sleeping. 7. That crazy look that friends and family give you is priceless, isn't it? 6. Two words: gotta hav'it. 5. You've still got $30 in your pocket to spend. 4. We are not men, we are DEVO. 3. Where else can you spent $39.99 for a 49 cent piece of plastic. 2. Who needs to buy food anyway? and, the Number One Reason to continue collecting Star Trek Action Figures: 1. Because you just love 'em, that's why. TARGET PLAN FOR PLAYTREKKERS by Andrew Novasitis Various groups of Playtrekkers across the United States are doing something amazing in order to purchase the many, many Target Store exclusives this year. They are setting up Target encampments waiting for the deliveries of the exclusives. Many tents are already in place and "volunteers" selected. Playtrek camp overseer (Delaware Division), Roberto, states, "We plan on having Targets from coast to coast covered by having at least one person encamped each hour of the day. The tents will be set up directly across from the truck delivery docking bays. Binoculars will be used to inspect each and every box unloaded in search of the very recognizable Playmates boxes which hold the exclusives. We also have many night-vision goggles in case there are any unloading at night. So, we're all ready - Bring on the exclusives!!!" These encampments will be operational 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In order to do this, a very tight schedule will be followed by the playtrekkers in each area. There are to be two 12 hour shifts each day. Food and entertainment will be provided by each individual. In-ground safes will be installed in each tent and will contain cash and credit cards, to insure available funds when the exclusives are finally spotted and purchased. Portable generators have been purchased from army surplus to provide heat and electricity. Ohio Division Camp overseer, Craig JustCraig, just purchased a brand new parka in his Target store and he will be wearing it during his shift. ".... have to be prepared for this winter weather, ya'know .... I'm not gonna freeze while in the tent ...." He is planning on bringing with him each day, two different 9" figures from his personal collection to keep him company while in the encampment. Today, it is the Borg and the Doctor from Voyager. He is waiting until a snow storm arrives before bringing Troi and Captain Janeway. Meanwhile, out on the west coast, Northern California Division Camp overseer, Chris Quan has a different approach. "To bring me luck in spotting these exclusives, I am bringing along my *entire* collection of Worf figures, everything from 1.5" to 4.5" to 6" to 9" to 12" Worfs. WOO HOO !!! This is worf-ific !!! As Worf might say, 'There will be Honor in this mission.'" Chris has put in a requisition for a larger tent. The Southern California Division Camp overseer, Christine Gabriel, really has it easy. Since she in fact works at a Target, her scheduled encampment actually takes place during her normal work day. She comments, "That's right, I really have it easy. I'm not out in that little tent during my shift. I'm inside all day." There is plenty of time to join in with this encampment fun. Contact fellow playtrekkers in your area to see which Targets are included in this encampment campaign. "General" Roberto wants you !!! RECALL OF SPACE TALK 7" BORG FIGURES - Roberto Hong Kong - Playmates Toys, manufacturer of the popular line of Star Trek toys, has issued an urgent recall of their 1995 Space Talk 7" Borg figures due to a serious health threat. "It came to our attention," says Playmates Toys representative, Beatrice Tow Ease, "that a serious manufacturing defect was causing the toys to spontaneously combust. We ask that owners of the toy please return them immediately to your nearest Playmates retailer for a refund or mail them to our Costa Mesa offices for a replacement 6 inch Borg from our popular 1998 Warp Factor Series One line." The problem was discovered when 7" Borg owner, Hermie Heinrich, sat down one day to play with his toys. "I was re-enacting the Next Generation show, 'Data Cue', where the Borg beam onto the Enterprise and beat Worf unconscious. Well, the Borg had just planted a virus in Troi when my Darkwing Batman swooped off the couch and dropped the Red Power Ranger on top of the Borg. The Power Ranger opened up a can of 'whoop ass' on the Borg and he died. Well, Borg's are supposed to disappear when they die, right? Except in First Contact 'cause those were different Borgs. Well, this wasn't a First Contact Borg, so it was supposed to disappear. And boy did it! It just exploded all over the living room! It was so cool! Mom was really mad, 'cause Borg schrapnel parts were all stuck in the couch and stuff! It even poked a hole in my thigh! Wanna see?" Little Hermie offered to drop his drawers to display his battle scars, but this reporter declined the offer. "It was so cool, 'cause I had this Borg tube sticking out of my thigh and it looked like I was assimilated! Mom didn't like it very much though and made me take it out. She's so mean sometimes." Since then, reports of exploding 7" Borg action figures have been reported across the US and Canada. One collector in Seattle, Aries Galindo, reported losing an entire shelf of loose Star Trek action figures from the resulting explosion and a collector in upstate New York, William Eggless, reported extensive intestinal damage and the loss of hearing in his left ear. On November 12, 1997, people in 17 states had filed a class action lawsuit against Playmates Toys for the defective Borg toys, but they settled out of court for twelve cases of T&T O'Briens and have offered to refund or replace all defective Borgs. Playmates states that the defect is caused by an abandoned attempt to have the Borg "disappear" when pushing the space talk button. However, tests showed the feature to be ineffective, so it was supposed to be removed from the toy. However, cost cutting efforts during the manufacture process caused some of the mechanisms to be left in place and hence, the highly volatile, exploding Borgs. Contact your nearest Star Trek toy retailer for instructions on the refund or exchange of your 7" Space Talk Borg. STUFF YOU WON'T SEE ON SCOTT GORDON'S SUPPOSEDLY COMPREHENSIVE LIST by Charles Apple When Playmates recently announced its preliminary list of Target, Kay-Bee, Wizard and fan club exclusive figures for 1999, it purposely left some of the slots to be filled later. Well, later is now. PlayMates granted the PlayTrek Gazette an exclusive scoop on the exclusives; details on those last few, before now, unnamed offerings for this year: -"TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT" MULTI-PACK: Janice Rand in her uniform from the first Trek movie, along with Admiral Kirk (the obligatory reissue) and a little pvc of organic-looking material on a working, lighted transporter pad. The organic material is molded in semi-transparent plastic, much like last year's Transporter figures. It will be highly detailed; Playmates designers have included little bone fragments in the plastic and a few extra surprises, such as a spare limb or two. Each little pile of mis-transported crew will look slightly different, according to Playmates, which expects this exclusive to be a big hit with the same collectors who also buy the Movie Maniacs line. The base will include a built-in sound chip, again, like the Transporter figures. Instead of the usual transporter sound effect, the sound will be a tiny little reverb-laden scream,just like in the movie. -"DEATH OF SPOCK" MULTI-PACK: This will consist of four, count 'em, four-action figures anchored by a new sculpt of Admiral Kirk as he appeared in the second Star Trek movie. Holding Kirk back will be Montgomery Scott in Engineering Suit and McCoy in Movie Uniform. The third figure will be Radiation-Burnt Spock. The Spock figure will be coated at the factory in a thin, green glaze-like coating which will give collectors the impression that Spock's face is melting and dripping right off of his skull. This will be one of the few multi-packs to include accessories; Spock will include big white gloves. MIB collectors are warned to be alert to the condition of their packages. Playmates plans to pose Spock in the box with his hand pressed up against the mylar window. A pre-printed green handprint will give the appearance of a bloody smudge on the mylar. -"SHAVING RIKER AND TROI" MULTI-PACK: This set will consist of a half-shaven Riker figure, Troi, a little hot tub, two glasses of wine, a little razor, and lots of bubble bath. Playmates has refused comment on how the figures will be painted or "dressed." This set is expected to be extremely hard to find, since Playmates admits it has promised to send half its factory run directly to Chris "Bath Hero" Doyle. -"ACTUAL SIZE" KIRK: In yet another change in action-figure scale, Playmates will release action figures the exact same size as William Shatner, the actor who portrayed the immortal Captain James T. Kirk. Playmates promises the figure will feature state-of-the-art detailing and articulation. In fact, since the prototype is not expected to be ready for the upcoming Toy show, Playmates has actually hired Shatner to serve as a living prototype for the figure during the February trade show. The Actual Size Kirks will ship packed three to a case. Variants planned will be with and without lifts built into his boots. Only 6,000 figures will be manufactured. -"INTERSTELLAR ACTION" BEVERLY CRUSHER AND DEANNA TROI: Playmates will resurrect the old "Interstellar Action" format with two spring-loaded figures; one of whom will be of the Dr. Crusher character in such demand by only about four particular collectors nationwide. Beverly and Deanna will be dressed in the civilian clothes they wore in "Star Trek: Insurrection." When you squeeze their legs together, their "boobs" will firm up. Playmates has directed that the Interstellar Action figures and the Shaving two-pack NOT be sold to minors under age 17, or to people who work in Burger King. NEW MULTI-SCALE LINE OF TOYS LAUNCHED - Roberto New York City, New York - In a stunning announcement at Toy Fair 1999, Playmates Toys has launched another stellar entry into their Star Trek line of toys: the Multi-Scale toys. Playmates Toys spokesperson, Don T. Gottiklu, excited about the re-vitalization of the Star Trek license, discusses the new line: "Our market research shows that the fans love Captain Picard. Well, since we've already released him in 4.5-inch, 6-inch, 7-inch, 9-inch, and 12-inch, we thought it would be a great idea to fill in the missing gaps! Fans can now collect Picard in each and every size imaginable! This May we have a 8-inch Picard." Gottiklu held up the toy in question for this reporter. "Followed in July by the 3-inch Picard collection. In September is the 11-inch Picard. And just in time for Christmas, in November we'll release a whopping 36-inch Picard with special display base and packaging and a certificate of authenticity. Depending on sales, we may add Riker and Kirk to the Multi-scale line for 2000. These will go well with our previously announced full-size Shatner figure, which, by the way, comes with both Starfleet and TJ Hooker uniforms." When asked about the new Multi-scale line, Star Trek toy collector, Don Sears (aka DiehardDon), busted a gut and had to be rushed to the hospital. Bill "Take My Spleen, Please" Eggless suffered an aneurysm. And Joan "ImdeadJim" Butrum began cursing like a sailor who'd been out to sea about three years too long. ROBERTO PUBLISHES PLAYTREK POSTING POLICY by Charles Apple Robert "The Enforcer" Porter announced today the new, regimented post policy on the PlayTrek mailing list. From now on, PlayTrek members will be allowed to ONLY post these topics on these days of the week: Sunday: For Sale posts only. Monday: For Trade posts only. Tuesday: Wanted posts only. Wednesday: Spoilers without spoiler warnings only. Thursday: Off-topic posts only. This includes any and all posts by Charles Apple. Friday: Only topics were are offensive or obnoxious (Lay-a-way, Nazi uniforms, "Raggies," Bad-trader notices, etc.). Saturday: Only posts which bitch and moan about Playmates. And of course, EVERY day is Make Fun of Bill Eggler Day. OFF-TOPIC NEWS DEPT.: KENNER ANNOUNCES RADICAL NEW IDEA FOR 1999 by Charles Apple Kenner/Hasbro announced plans this week for a new line of Classic Star Wars figures to complement their new Star Wars Episode One figures that will begin shipping soon. Since nearly every character in the three previous SW films have already been released, Lucasfilms and Kenner/Hasbro were at a bit of a loss to decide what to send to stores this spring and summer. Then, one of the in-house marketing geniuses earned his salary by having a brainstorm: Kenner will release one one-of-a-kind action figure to represent each and every person in North America who has seen the original Star Wars movie since its original theatrical run in 1977. That's right: every single person who bought a ticket to see the original Star Wars movie (entitled after the fact as "Episode IV: A New Hope"), or who bought a copy of the video... or, for that matter, who even RENTED a copy of the video, will be turned into a 4.5-inch plastic action figure. The catch: Only one of each figure will be made. The OTHER catch: There will be NO WAY to tell where or when the figure that represents what YOU looked like 23 years ago will be shipped. It may pop into the Wal-Mart near you in April... or it may surface at a Big Lots in Podunkville, West Virginia, five years from now. Apparently, there is some method to Kenner/Hasbro's madness. The company will have to manufacture a number of bodies of various sizes, shapes, colors and configurations. Luckily for Kenner/Hasbro, it can plan to design the bodies so that they wear flair-legged jeans, ragged t-shirts, halter tops, fringed, leather vests, and big, ugly sandels. The company doesn't have to worry about sculpting a single of the of the boggling number of heads one would think such an undertaking would require: Kenner/Hasbro simply plans to use head sculpts from its popular Starting Lineups line. "Who'll know?" asked a Kenner spokesman, who did not want to be identified. Retail experts are hailing the announcement as sheer marketing genius. The amount of foot traffic in the outlets where Star Wars toys are sold is expected to increase dramatically, once the cases hit the trucks. Other industry spokespersons, however, have questioned the wisdom of manufacturing a line of toys which categorically excludes anyone under 25 years or so of age. Two hundred and twenty million Americans and Canadians could not be reached for comment. GET YOUR PACKAGE VARIANT NOW by Charles "I really am a journalist" Apple In the spirit of the Wizard-exclusive Gary Shamus-autographed Trek figure comes the very latest in package variants for the anal-retentive MOMC Star Trek collector: The Target Exclusive Environment Suit Spock and Chekov figures, autographed by various Target clerks and toy department managers! Now available at the rock-bottom price of $27.99! We accept your Marshall Field's charge card. Call to reserve your autographed figures today: 1-800-U-JAMOKE CLASSIFIEDS PERSONALS SWM - looking for a woman who likes romantic evenings, long walks on the beach, snuggling in front of the fire place, ballroom dancing, and laughing at my neighbor who's a Star Trek toy collecting geek. Let's get together and enjoy a lifelong relationship. Mailbox 4828 FOR SALE: Playmates NASCAR race driver figure I have for sale this little stock-car driver figure I received in the mail recently. I assume he's a NASCAR driver; there is nothing on his box that identifies him as such. But there ARE lots of little logos all over his box, which makes his box look a LOT like a NASCAR car; logos like: "Playmates." "Wizard." "ToyFare." "StarTrek." The figure himself comes dressed in one of the fireproof suits that race car drivers wore back in the 60's. He even has a little crash helmetsort of dorky-looking, but what the hey... The figure has pointed ears, so I'd guess he's supposed to be Dale Earnhardt. If that's the case, though, he's missing his pointed tail and pitchfork. Anyway, best offer gets him. Jeff Gordon speedracer@ohyeahrightlikeyoubelievethis.com FOR SALE Rare 7" Space Talk Borg-- STILL IN ONE PIECE! These were recalled due to a manufacturing defect. $145 or negotiable. 1-212-BIGBORG FOR SALE: Weird Error Figure I have this figure I'm wanting to get rid of. He's a REALLY stupid error I found a few years ago. I'm running out of storage, so I simply want to be rid of him. The package SAYS it's supposed to be Picard, from a particular episode. And it LOOKS like Picard's head. So it's a Picard figure, right? No, PlayMates REALLY screwed up THIS time, by putting a perfectly nice Picard head on the WRONG body! Of all the dumb things to do. The stupid ol' body they used THIS time appears to be from a Generations Kirk figure. Anyway, Figure and package are in pristine shape. I'm asking five bucks. First person to respond gets him. -Joe King Jking@laugingmyheadoff.net Dear Ed Itor, I've got a Tomas Ricker STar Wars action figure that is listed in a magazine at worth nearly $200.00. However, I can't seem to find any buyers and one guy tried to tell me it's on the wrong card. I checked, and sure enough-- it's on a STar Trek card and not a STar Wars card. Which is harder to find, STar Trek or STar Wars. S. Calper in Maine. Dear Mr. Calper: Unfortunately you have the common Star Trek carded Thomas Riker. If you can find a Star Wars carded Thomas Riker, that is a very rare item indeed and can possibly call for upwards of $1000 on the secondary market. Sorry to burst your bubble, but the action figure you have is worth about 50 cents. Ed Itor That is all.